Don’t say “Can’t”..

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Don't say can't

Every time you say you ‘can’t’ do something you’ll tend to believe yourself… Your subconscious will interpret it as a definite CAN NOT BE DONE, which is incredibly debilitating as it will stop you from even trying..

Think just how much more powerful it is when you switch that around to ‘how can I?’ instead. When you think that your mind immediately goes to work on looking for solutions, ideas, things to try. Has anyone else ever done it? What did they do? How could I get started? etc.

I know which I’d prefer. How about you?

Success Stories – Dillon

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Dillon Callinan

When we first met Dillon he was really shy, and you’d be lucky to get a few words out of him even if you asked a direct question.

How amazing then to see him a few years later where he stood up in front of his whole school and gave a 20 minute presentation about his martial arts to well over 100 people! Such a huge improvement in his confidence since he began training at the Academy. 

Well done Dillon!

 

A Question Of Attitude….?

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If you had the opportunity to change in your life for the better, would you take it?

At first that seems like a really simple question, and the answer should be “of course!”, but then we get to the part where people think, “well yes, I suppose, but what will it entail? Will it be hard work? Will it mean I have to give up all the stuff I like?” etc etc…

This is the biggest problem we all face when trying to achieve our true potential is the social con- ditioning that to reach exceptional standards is beyond the reach of ‘normal’ people.

There is a saying which goes: “if you want something to change about your life, then you must first change something about your life.”

Ask yourself this question. Just how much to you need to change in your life to make a significant difference to you?

Most people assume that it is a lot, and that it will require a huge amount of effort on their part. I put it to you that there is something you can do right now, it will take no more time than it takes you to read this newsletter, and this one thing can make a huge difference to the rest of your life.

Have I got your attention now?

What if I made a suggestion that by changing one tiny thing, just by adding one word to your vocabulary you could turn your whole attitude around…

When faced with a challenge in your life, how do you approach it? If your usual response is to think “I can’t do that because…” then immediately you are focused on the negative. This will affect your whole attitude towards the situation in the future and your chances of success are greatly reduced.

So how about we change that one tiny thing… Lets simply change the “I can’t” to “How can I?”, for example, instead of thinking “I can’t kick head height because I’m not flexible enough..”, change it to “how can I increase my flexibility to achieve my goal of kicking head height?”.

The moment you make this important change in your thinking something amazing happens. Your subconcious starts to work on the problem, starts looking for a solution. Even if you are not actually thinking about it at the time your subconcious is...

Immediately you have made a very important distinction, to focus on the solution is a positive step, and this means that you have now categorised this challenge as a positive thing and that gives you a huge advantage from the start.

Never focus on the problem, always on the solution, you will be amazed at the difference it makes!

The most important thing you’ll ever learn in the martial arts..

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.. that’s a pretty bold title I suppose, but it’s true. If there is one simple secret to success in the Martial Arts it’s this.

Perseverance is the key to Mastery

I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying that goes: “A black belt is a white belt that never quit”.That’s a great way to summarise a major key to success in the martial arts. Perseverance.

We all experience ups and downs in all aspects of our lives, and learning a new skill is no exception. To begin with, when you start training it’s all new and exciting, initially the reward you get far outweighs the effort you need to put in.

After a while the initial excitement will settle down and you reach the stage where you realise that in order to progress you need to actually put some real work in to succeed. In these days where we’re conditioned for instant gratification that can be a challenge to say the least!

Modern society has conditioned us, especially our children, to have an “I want it now” attitude. We are not willing to invest the time to achieve maximum results. Children are growing up with an entitlement mentality. I want it now, it is owed to me, everyone has one so I deserve one too. This is leading people into a dangerous future where they are simply not able to deal with challenges and the default answer is “I quit!”.

The real secret to mastery however is learning to recognise these dips and persevere, because when you push through the flat spot and come out the other side, the rewards are worth it.  You’ll often find your ability, your confidence and your motivation take a huge surge forward.

The-Dip-Curve
In addition to the obvious benefits to your martial arts training, by developing your perseverance like this you’re developing self-discipline which will benefit you in every area of your life..


It’s pretty much a certainty that every one of us will experience such a dip at some points, and it probably won’t be the only one, eventually you’ll find yourself facing another.  The key then is to remember the lessons learned before, and use that experience to build the certainty that you can push through it, onwards and upwards to greater progress.

This is one of the reasons it really helps to keep a journal to log your training progress, and to record the ‘magic moments’ that helped you through the challenges you’ve faced along the way.  If you hit a challenge in the future, you can look back and remind yourself how you worked through it and the rewards you got for doing so.

Learn from the experience of others

If you’re struggling to push yourself forward at times, remember that you’re not the first person to experience this! Talk to some of the senior students and I’m sure they’ll all be able to relate to how you feel. Just about all of the current black belts could give you examples of challenges, setbacks and ‘flat spots’ they’ve had in their own training. But they all share one common trait. They never gave up. They used that key black belt skill of perseverance and it helped shape them into the Black Belt they became.

Share your experiences with others.

For example, use the Academy forum to discuss your training, keep a journal and share motivational tips with your fellow students.

Parents – keep in touch, use our experience!

We know that sometimes you’ll find it tough when your child goes through one of these natural dips, and of course they don’t yet understand the benefit of perseverance that we as adults can appreciate.  It’s really important that we help them to learn this skill, and support and encourage them during those flat spots.

It’s tricky sometimes to stick to your guns, especially when I child says “I don’t want to go tonight” or worse still “I don’t want to go any more!” but the key thing is to remember the reasons you enrolled them in the first place, think of the ‘big picture’ benefits that we can understand.  After all, I’m sure they’ve said they don’t want to go to school a few times by now too, but we understand the benefits to be gained from a formal education.  In the martial arts we add in the many benefits of some really valuable life skills and character development too.

Here are some great examples: 10 reasons Martial Arts benefit kids

If you’re having a challenge with your child’s motivation, please let us know ASAP!  Having taught literally hundreds of children over the years we can almost always help.

Here are a couple of great articles which discuss this further:

Remember:

“A black belt is a white belt that never quit”.

4 Negative Words Great Black Belts Avoid!

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ALL GREAT BLACK BELTS LEARN THAT THE WORDS they use, especially when they are talking to “themselves,” make a HUGE impact on their lives and their success!

Using these NEGATIVE words limit you, and cause you to focus on what can’t be done, rather than what CAN be done!

Avoid using these negative words with others and ESPECIALLY yourself!

1. No: 

Instead of finding what you can’t do, it’s important for you to see the opportunity that is hiding in any challenge. If your instructor asked if you can kick “head high,” telling him or her “no” immediately makes your brain “give up”. If you answered “I’ll try,” your brain will give you the power to try!

2. Can’t: 

Winning Black Bets know that ANY limitation is temporary! If you “can’t” do something today, say a form, a kick, or 100 push ups, what if you practiced for a month? Instead of telling yourself you “can’t,” ask yourself “How can I?” This will put your brain to work figuring out how you can accomplish your goal!

3. Never: 

The best Black Belts know that with time, patience, and focus all things are possible! Of course there are physical limits of what a human can do, BUT, if you see another person who has accomplished something, that means that YOU CAN TOO!

4. Maybe: 

Maybe is what people say when they have no intention of accomplishing something, but don’t want to tell you directly! It’s a “cop out.” Don’t allow yourself to make this “excuse” to others, and especially to yourself!

 

 

(Original post courtesy of NAPMA)

Ten reasons Martial Arts benefit children

In a culture that seems to glorify violence in everything from music to video games and television shows, the idea of enrolling your child in martial arts training classes doesn’t always seem like a good one. While martial arts-centered action films seem to be filled to the brim with violent behavior and gory injuries, you may be surprised to learn that martial arts’ training is actually very beneficial to kids. Like so many other things that Hollywood doesn’t always get right, martial arts isn’t quite the brutal, vicious pastime that it seems!  In fact, these are 10 of the reasons why you may want to consider martial arts training for your kids.

  1. Fostering Self-Discipline – One of the central tenets of all forms of the martial arts is an absolute focus on self-discipline. Today’s kids are so accustomed to receiving instant gratification that lessons in self-restraint and discipline aren’t always easy to come by. Kids with a martial arts background, however, are continually reminded of how essential self-discipline is.
  2. Boosting Socialization Skills – Kids who don’t always thrive in highly social environments may find it easier to get to know people and make new friends when they’re in a room filled with peers who share a common interest. The kids on the playground may not always have much common ground, but devotees to the martial arts are able to get to know one another through shared pursuits. Partner-driven forms like jiu jitsu can also foster camaraderie, as they force kids to pair off and build their skills together.
  3. Encouraging Physical Activity – Limiting screen time is a great idea when it comes to getting kids off the couch and encouraging them to be more active, but it only goes so far. Enrolling an inactive child in such a physically demanding pastime not only discourages the sedentary lifestyle she’s used to, but also gives her an enjoyable activity that inspires her to keep moving.
  4. Learning to Set and Achieve Goals – Most forms of martial arts are based around an accomplishment system of colored belts that signify the wearer’s degree of skill. When your child strives toward each new belt, he’s learning valuable lessons about setting and reaching his goals.
  5. Increased Self-Esteem – Confidence comes with achievement, so your child’s self-esteem level will get a boost with every new move he masters and every belt he earns. Kids who struggle with a low sense of self-worth usually become more confident as time progresses while they’re enrolled in a martial arts class.
  6. Instilling a Sense of Respect – Learning any martial arts style will require your child to show her instructor unflinching respect. Today’s kid culture doesn’t always include respect for authority, adults or those in advanced positions. When she goes to her karate or tae kwon do class, though, your child will be learning lessons in respect along with new moves.
  7. Encouraging Non-Violent Conflict Resolution – Thinking that martial arts instruction promotes violent behavior is justified if your only experience with the activity comes from television or movies. In fact, many defensive styles teach kids peaceful, non-violent conflict resolution skills and emphasize the importance of avoiding a physical altercation.
  8. Improving Listening Skills – In order to master the skills she’s being taught and advance through the belt ranks, your child will have to exercise superior listening skills. Kids who aren’t always adept when it comes to paying attention to what they’re told can benefit from the verbal instruction and one-on-one work in her dojo.
  9. Developing Teamwork Skills – Whether he’s breaking boards to get a new belt or sparring in a practice setting to master a new maneuver, there are few things that your child does in his martial arts classes that will be done on his own. Working together to learn new things and accomplish goals is an important life lesson for kids to learn, and instruction in the martial arts can help your child learn that lesson.
  10. Improvement in Other Areas of Life – The benefits of martial arts training don’t end in the dojo. The boost in confidence, increased fitness level and new cooperation skills will also help your child navigate the academic and social aspects of school, affect his behavior at home and have an all-around good influence on him as he develops into an adult.

If you’re still concerned about encouraging violent tendencies or teaching your child to fight, it may be helpful to visit a school in your area. Speak with the instructors, administrators and other parents to get an idea of how things operate, and hold off on forming a negative opinion of the martial arts until you’ve done a bit of exploratory research.

You may even find that training is the perfect activity for your entire family to do together!

40+ and fitter than he was in his twenties..

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Here’s an article written by one of our Black Belts, which was kindly published by Brett Kraiger on his excellent site “Martial Arts over 40” ( https://martialartsover40.com/)

Stewart Davison started martial arts in his late 30s, and now 6 years later says that he feels fitter now than when he was in the military in his 20s. That’s really quite something. He’s got some brilliant observations about being a more mature student, and about being a role-model for his children.

He also introduces his blog, a personal journey of his road to black belt, and now to 2nd Dan.


I fell into the martial arts by accident really, my wife and daughter had been studying at the local TaeKwon Do school, Ilyokwan Black Belt Academy, for a couple of years and I didn’t feel much inclination to get involved.

I was in my late thirties, family guy, thought I was just ‘fit enough’ but when the opportunity arose to take over of my wife’s membership (due to a serious knee injury) I thought ‘I’d give it a go!’ 6 years later and I am a 1st Dan in Ilyo Mu Do Kwan looking to test this year for my 2nd Dan.

Over the years I have been training I have been thinking more about my personal fitness, where my life is going and trying to discover what limitations I have when it comes to my MA training. In my early forties now I so far have seen that by having something to work towards has really enabled me to keep my fitness to a good level, which in turn has helped , in what is obviously a physical discipline, in my MA development.

As I have become older I have come to realise that I can’t always do what the younger guys can do, from a physical and flexibility perspective, but I’m not far off, I believe that actually I am in some ways fitter than I was in my twenties, which is strange to think as I was in the military at the time.

Fitness is relative to the individual and as a senior student I have always tried to set my personal standards higher than the rest of the class. On reflection as a more mature student I have probably greater physical strength than the younger students in class and more importantly also have some ‘real life’ experience when it comes to the self defence aspects of our training.

I do believe that the needs of the older student have to be taken into consideration by instructors and that age shouldn’t be a barrier to being an active and successful practitioner of the Martial Arts.

In fact Instructors and schools ignore the more mature candidate at their peril as it is these students who have tasted something of life, the successes, the failures, who are more likely to commit, long term, to their training than the younger student whose training may just be a ‘phase’ in their personal development.

A lot of my non MA friends, when talking about my training, state that they couldn’t commit the time, aren’t fit enough, are too tired from work etc etc, and they ask why do I do it? For me my MA training has become a part of who I am and I am fortunate that my eldest daughter has continued in her training and recently achieved the rank of 1st Dan as well. Having the motivation of setting a good example to one’s children always helps to drag yourself off the couch on a dark and stormy night to go and hits things, hard!

When it came time for me to enter the testing cycle for 1st Dan I chose, as a goal, the creation of a blog to chart how a fairly ‘ordinary’ guy worked towards achieving that first rung on the ladder in a martial art. When looking to do a goal as part of my black belt candidacy I was finding it really difficult to come up with something worthwhile, I wanted to show to people that a relatively ‘normal’ person, someone who can’t go to a Gym 5 times a week, someone who doesn’t have an abundance of free time, could still be successful on the journey to Black Belt.

Something at the forefront of my mind was also to demystify the whole process, to show that attaining a black belt isn’t some esoteric, rite of passage, that all it takes is some commitment and determination to succeed.

Making sure that other students could benefit from what I was experiencing I thought the best thing to try would be to create a blog. This blog allowed me to put down what I was thinking and feeling as I progressed through the process of black belt training.

The aim of the blog was to show the highs and lows along the way and how really 6 months isn’t a long time to prepare for your black belt grading. Its intention was to show that you don’t need to be superhuman or the most driven person in the world to succeed at something you want, merely that you need to give it the proper care and attention to reap the rewards.

Now 6 years down the line since I first put on the uniform, struggled with forming a low block and marvelling at more senior students who seemed to have mastered the most complex patterns, I have embarked on the testing cycle for my 2nd Dan and so the blog has begun again.

This time older, maybe a little wiser, definitely greyer but still with a spark that will hopefully take me to the next stage in my training, I would relish the opportunity to hear from like minded MA practitioners from around the world and so I put a call out to follow my blog The Road to Black Belt and please get in touch!